Fifty four. Eight to argue, one to get a continuance, one to object, one to demur, two to research precedents, one to dictate a letter, one to stipulate, five to turn in their time cards, one to depose, one to write interrogatories, two to settle, one to order a secretary to change the bulb, and twenty-eight to bill for professional services.

None, lawyers only screw us.

Lawyers don’t think they’re funny, and nobody else thinks they’re jokes.

Because the cats keep trying to bury them in the sand.

Shoot the lawyer twice.

A good start!

His lips are moving.

There are skid marks in front of the dog.

Professional courtesy.

Not enough sand.