What’s black and brown and looks good on an attorney?
A doberman pinscher.
Dec 27
When attorneys die, why do they bury them 600 feet underground?
Because deep down, they’re really nice guys.
Dec 27
If you drop a snake and an attorney off the Empire State Building, which one hits first?
Who cares?
Dec 27
How can you tell the difference between a dead skunk and a dead attorney on the road?
The vultures aren’t gagging over the skunk.
Dec 27
What’s the difference between an attorney and a pit bull?
Jewelry.
Dec 27
What do lawyers use for birth control?
Their personalities.
Dec 27
What’s the definition of mixed emotions?
Watching your attorney drive over a cliff in your new Ferrari.
Dec 27
How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One; the lawyer holds it while the rest of the world revolves around him.
Dec 27
What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
Lawyers accumulate frequent flyer points.
Dec 27
What’s the difference between a lawyer and a terrorist?
You can negotiate with a terrorist.
