Lawyer Fees

Jokes about Lawyer Fees

Lawyer's BMW

A lawyer was driving his big BMW down the highway, singing to himself, “I love my BMW, I love my BMW.” Focusing on his car, not his driving, he smashed into a tree. He miraculously survived, but his car was totaled. “My BMW! My BMW!” he sobbed. A good Samaritan drove by and cried out, […]

Lawyer's BMW Read More »

Please wait...

Lawyer's New Yacht

“You’re a cheat!” shouted the client to his lawyer. “You’re a scoundrel! You’ve kept me hanging for months and got rich on my case alone!” “That’s gratitude,” said the offended lawyer. “And right after I named my new yacht after you.”

Lawyer's New Yacht Read More »

Please wait...

NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars

NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars. Only one could go — and couldn’t return to Earth. The first applicant, an engineer, was asked how much he wanted to be paid for going. “A million dollars,” he answered, “because I want to donate it to M.I.T.” The next applicant, a doctor, was asked

NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars Read More »

Please wait...

A gang of robbers broke into a lawyer's club by mistake

A gang of robbers broke into a lawyer’s club by mistake. The old legal lions gave them a fight for their life and their money. The gang was very happy to escape. “It ain’t so bad,” one crook noted. “We got $25 between us.” The boss screamed: “I warned you to stay clear of lawyers

A gang of robbers broke into a lawyer's club by mistake Read More »

Please wait...

At the United Way in a fairly small town

At the United Way in a fairly small town a volunteer worker noticed that the most successful lawyer in the whole town hadn’t made a contribution. This guy was making about $600,000 a year so the volunteer thought, “Why not call him up?” He calls up the lawyer. “Sir, according to our research you haven’t

At the United Way in a fairly small town Read More »

Please wait...

A young attorney who had taken over his father’s practice

A young attorney who had taken over his father’s practice rushed home elated one night. “Dad, listen,” he shouted, “I’ve finally settled that old McKinney suit.” “Settled it!” cried his astonished father. “Why, I gave that to you as an annuity for life.”

A young attorney who had taken over his father’s practice Read More »

Please wait...

A client who felt his legal bill was too high

A client who felt his legal bill was too high asked his lawyer to itemize costs. The statement included this item: “Was walking down the street and saw you on the other side. Walked to the corner to cross at the light, crossed the street and walked quickly to catch up with you. Got close

A client who felt his legal bill was too high Read More »

Please wait...

DON’T WORRY ABOUT THE COWS!

After his graduation from college, the son of a Spanish lawyer was considering his future. He went to his father and asked if he might be given a desk in the corner from which he could observe his father’s activities and be introduced to his father’s clients as a clerk. His observations would help him

DON’T WORRY ABOUT THE COWS! Read More »

Please wait...

Lawyer explaining fees

Lawyer: Now that your case is settled, I’d like to explain my fees to you. You owe me $500 now and $347.26 a month for the next 36 months. Client: “I’ve never heard of such a fee schedule! Why, it sounds like car payments!” Lawyer: “You’re right — mine.”

Lawyer explaining fees Read More »

Please wait...

How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?

How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb? How many can you afford?

How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb? Read More »

Please wait...