How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, lawyers only screw us.
Dec 27
What’s wrong with lawyer jokes?
Lawyers don’t think they’re funny, and nobody else thinks they’re jokes.
Dec 27
Why have some cities outlawed lawyers from going to the beach?
Because the cats keep trying to bury them in the sand.
Dec 27
If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do?
Shoot the lawyer twice.
Dec 27
What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start!
Dec 27
How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
His lips are moving.
Dec 27
What’s the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
There are skid marks in front of the dog.
Dec 27
Why won’t sharks attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy.
Dec 27
What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
Not enough sand.
Dec 27
Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?
To practice.
