Dec 27

Why won’t sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.

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Rating: 7.9/10 (61 votes cast)
Dec 27

What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.

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Rating: 8.4/10 (92 votes cast)
Dec 27

Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.

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Rating: 8.2/10 (58 votes cast)
Dec 27

How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.

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Rating: 7.3/10 (36 votes cast)
Dec 27

Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.

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Rating: 7.5/10 (51 votes cast)
Dec 27

Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

No? Good!

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Rating: 6.3/10 (37 votes cast)
Dec 27

What’s the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of pond scum?

The bucket.

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Rating: 6.6/10 (47 votes cast)
Dec 27

What’s the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?

One is a slimy, bottom dwelling, scum sucker. The other is a fish.

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Rating: 8.8/10 (68 votes cast)
Dec 27

What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.

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Rating: 5.6/10 (38 votes cast)
Dec 27

Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one.

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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

Once launched, they can’t be recalled.

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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

When they land, they prevent anything from functioning for the next hundred years.

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Rating: 5.6/10 (50 votes cast)
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