The day after a verdict had been entered against his client, the lawyer rushed to the judge’s chambers, demanding that the case be reopened, saying: “I have new evidence that makes a huge difference in my client’s defense.”
The judge asked, “What new evidence could you have?”
The lawyer replied, “My client has an extra $10,000, and I just found out about it!”
So help me, which god?
See more cartoons by Jason Love at: jasonlove.com
Special thanks to Jason for allowing me to feature his cartoons on this site.
Why won’t sharks attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy.
Lawyer: Now that your case is settled, I’d like to explain my fees to you. You owe me $500 now and $347.26 a month for the next 36 months.
Client: “I’ve never heard of such a fee schedule! Why, it sounds like car payments!”
Lawyer: “You’re right — mine.”
How can you tell the difference between a dead skunk and a dead attorney on the road?
The vultures aren’t gagging over the skunk.
How do you tell if it is REALLY cold outside?
A lawyer has his hands in his own pockets
How can you spot a lawyer or politician walking down the street?
He will have his hands in someone else’s pockets.
Illinois workers’ compensation benefits are NOT considered as income. Continue reading »
The Illinois Workers compensation laws provide benefits in several categories.
Continue reading »
In most instances, the Illinois Workers Compensation Laws cover any injury that is caused in part or entirely as a result of the person’s job. Continue reading »
The Illinois Workers Compensation laws cover almost all workers that are hired in Illinois, injured in Illinois (while working) or whose company is based in the state of Illinois. Continue reading »
According to the State of Illinois website, the state legislature created an agency in 1913 designed to resolve disagreements between employers and their injured workers. This agency had always been called the Illinois Industrial Commission; however, effective January 1, 2005, the agency was renamed the Illinois Workers’ Compensation Commission. Continue reading »
(This post is not a joke and is not meant to be satire!)
I’ve started to do a little research on Workers Compensation Law. If you do a quick google search, you’ll find that there are a gazillion sites out there for lawyers with information saying you need to contact them right away for assistance. They claim that if you try to handle your case without a lawyer, you are just playing into the hands of the insurance companies. Continue reading »
How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
Fifty four. Eight to argue, one to get a continuance, one to object, one to demur, two to research precedents, one to dictate a letter, one to stipulate, five to turn in their time cards, one to depose, one to write interrogatories, two to settle, one to order a secretary to change the bulb, and twenty-eight to bill for professional services.
