Dec 27

What’s the difference between a bankrupt attorney and a pigeon?

The pigeon can still make a deposit on a Mercedes.

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Rating: 7.2/10 (37 votes cast)
Dec 26

Lawyer: Now that your case is settled, I’d like to explain my fees to you. You owe me $500 now and $347.26 a month for the next 36 months.

Client: “I’ve never heard of such a fee schedule! Why, it sounds like car payments!”

Lawyer: “You’re right — mine.”

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Rating: 8.8/10 (29 votes cast)
Dec 26

“You’re a cheat!” shouted the client to his lawyer. “You’re a scoundrel! You’ve kept me hanging for months and got rich on my case alone!”

“That’s gratitude,” said the offended lawyer. “And right after I named my new yacht after you.”

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Rating: 6.7/10 (21 votes cast)
Dec 27

How many lawyers does it take to stop a moving bus?

Never enough.

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Rating: 7.4/10 (40 votes cast)
Dec 26

Sectioin 21A, Paragraph 6: When two or more vehicles come to a stop simultaneously, the most expensive vehicle has the right of way.

See more cartoons by Jason Love at: jasonlove.com

Special thanks to Jason for allowing me to feature his cartoons on this site.

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Rating: 6.5/10 (25 votes cast)
Apr 07

How do you tell if it is REALLY cold outside?

A lawyer has his hands in his own pockets

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Rating: 7.8/10 (216 votes cast)
Apr 07

How can you spot a lawyer or politician walking down the street?

He will have his hands in someone else’s pockets.

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Rating: 6.1/10 (159 votes cast)
Dec 27

How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty four. Eight to argue, one to get a continuance, one to object, one to demur, two to research precedents, one to dictate a letter, one to stipulate, five to turn in their time cards, one to depose, one to write interrogatories, two to settle, one to order a secretary to change the bulb, and twenty-eight to bill for professional services.

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Rating: 7.6/10 (217 votes cast)
Dec 27

How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, lawyers only screw us.

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Rating: 8.4/10 (106 votes cast)
Dec 27

What’s wrong with lawyer jokes?

Lawyers don’t think they’re funny, and nobody else thinks they’re jokes.

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Rating: 8.4/10 (135 votes cast)
Dec 27

Why have some cities outlawed lawyers from going to the beach?

Because the cats keep trying to bury them in the sand.

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Rating: 6.0/10 (65 votes cast)
Dec 27

If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do?

Shoot the lawyer twice.

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Rating: 8.4/10 (107 votes cast)
Dec 27

What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!

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Rating: 7.4/10 (78 votes cast)
Dec 27

How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

His lips are moving.

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Rating: 8.0/10 (91 votes cast)
Dec 27

What’s the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the dog.

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Rating: 7.9/10 (84 votes cast)
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