“I’m beginning to think that my lawyer is too interested in making money.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Listen to this from his bill: ‘For waking up at night and thinking about your case: $25′.”
Dec 26
And who was it, Mr. Peanut, who broke into your Los Angeles home and sucked down your wife and kids?!
See more cartoons by Jeff Swensen at: http://www.swensonfunnies.com
Special thanks to Jeff for allowing me to feature his cartoons on this site.
Dec 26
“You’re a cheat!” shouted the client to his lawyer. “You’re a scoundrel! You’ve kept me hanging for months and got rich on my case alone!”
“That’s gratitude,” said the offended lawyer. “And right after I named my new yacht after you.”
Dec 27
A dog ran into a butcher shop and grabbed a roast off the counter. Fortunately, the butcher recognized the dog as belonging to a neighbor of his. The neighbor happened to be a lawyer.
Incensed at the theft, the butcher called up his neighbor and said, “Hey, if your dog stole a roast from my butcher shop, would you be liable for the cost of the meat?” The lawyer replied, “Of course, how much was the roast?” “$7.98.”
A few days later the butcher received a check in the mail for $7.98. Attached to it was an invoice that read: Legal Consultation Service: $150.
Dec 26
A young attorney who had taken over his father’s practice rushed home elated one night.
“Dad, listen,” he shouted, “I’ve finally settled that old McKinney suit.”
“Settled it!” cried his astonished father. “Why, I gave that to you as an annuity for life.”
Jan 21
According to the Illinois Workers Compensation Laws, the employer is who is responsible for paying for workers’ compensation. Continue reading »
Jan 21
Illinois workers’ compensation benefits are NOT considered as income. Continue reading »
Jan 17
The Illinois Workers compensation laws provide benefits in several categories.
Continue reading »
Jan 01
In most instances, the Illinois Workers Compensation Laws cover any injury that is caused in part or entirely as a result of the person’s job. Continue reading »
Jan 01
The Illinois Workers Compensation laws cover almost all workers that are hired in Illinois, injured in Illinois (while working) or whose company is based in the state of Illinois. Continue reading »
Dec 29
According to the State of Illinois website, the state legislature created an agency in 1913 designed to resolve disagreements between employers and their injured workers. This agency had always been called the Illinois Industrial Commission; however, effective January 1, 2005, the agency was renamed the Illinois Workers’ Compensation Commission. Continue reading »
Dec 28
(This post is not a joke and is not meant to be satire!)
I’ve started to do a little research on Workers Compensation Law. If you do a quick google search, you’ll find that there are a gazillion sites out there for lawyers with information saying you need to contact them right away for assistance. They claim that if you try to handle your case without a lawyer, you are just playing into the hands of the insurance companies. Continue reading »
Dec 27
How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
Fifty four. Eight to argue, one to get a continuance, one to object, one to demur, two to research precedents, one to dictate a letter, one to stipulate, five to turn in their time cards, one to depose, one to write interrogatories, two to settle, one to order a secretary to change the bulb, and twenty-eight to bill for professional services.
Dec 27
How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, lawyers only screw us.
Dec 27
What’s wrong with lawyer jokes?
Lawyers don’t think they’re funny, and nobody else thinks they’re jokes.
